I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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