We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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