I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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