you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize