Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
