A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
