He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
