There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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