it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Randomize
