need another drink. this is the easiest way
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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