come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
