You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
