well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
