The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
