I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
