I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Randomize
