In the future we'll all be gay
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
