the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
