I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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