You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
