that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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