I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
