obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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