In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
