Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
