try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize