I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
