help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
