She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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