Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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