the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Randomize
