I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
