I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
