i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
