bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm like, not good at living.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
