So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
