is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
