Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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