I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
