I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
