guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
and you fell through a lawn chair
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
