worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I want to be your penis for a week.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize