and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
