she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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