i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize