Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize