she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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