glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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