If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
