instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
