hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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