Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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