Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
