wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
