You really coming over, don't trick.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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