Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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