btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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