Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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