I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
my being single is dangerous.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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