If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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