I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
