I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
