idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I need to stop coming to work sober
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
