I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
