I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Randomize
