3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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